My wishlist.

1. A personal journal. For me to pour my thoughts anytime I want to.
2. A 2011 planner so that I could organize my plans everyday.
3. A digital camera for me to summarize my life for at least everyday.
4. More shoes for my shoe collection.
5. Money to update my wardrobe.
6. Ipod, because I love to listen to music. Plus, I find it better than Itouch.
7. Spare cellphone (cherry mobile), for emergency purposes.
8. Books for vocabulary improvement.
9. Laptop for my personal use.
10. Bags.
11. Schools supplies. I'm running low in my school supplies.

How am I feeling?

When I generalize what I feel, I feel fine.

Then when you get deeper, my emotions are all.. fvcked up. There's this side that thinks that I can talk to that person. She wants to fix the problems. She still hopes that things will get better the second time around. She believes that second chances happen. She wants to fight for love. She'll do anything for the one she loves.

Then here's the other side. She thinks that true love isn't true at all. Let him wait for him to approach you. Never approach him when he isn't the one who approached first. She wants to change that person because she doesn't know him now. She doesn't want to fight because she already knows that it'll be a complete failure. She doesn't want to love again because her heart really hurts. She wants to start all over again but she doesn't know how to. She's stuck in the past. She wants to move on but she can't.

But you know what? One of the things she wants to do is.. not to cry anymore. She's really sick of crying. She already knows that the tears aren't worth it. Nobody died right? So why bother crying?

She can do this. She must be strong and just go with the flow. She misses you so much, she loves you. But she needs to fix her own life. She must be happy for the everybody's sake.

Oh, her name is Lydelle by the way.

OOHHH. Love, why do you hurt me this way? :| Hha.

December 7 2010.

So today, we had regular classes. We also took examinations in Computer and TLE. Our test in TLE is a little hard. I forgot the names of the tools. In computer, it was a hands-on test. Good thing about it is I finished it on time. I hope I got it right. Lunch time, we picked random names for our exchange gifts. I picked our teacher in English. Then monthly mass after classes. After that, we went to the class room to kill time.

Anyway, Mom has given me 6 pairs of shoes since last month. Two are doll shoes, two are heels, and two are rubber shoes. Then it gave me an idea that I could start a shoe collection because I'm starting to love shoes again. One of my inspiration right now about that is Imelda Marcos. ;)

Hmm. I want to watch Vampire Diaries tonight. I want to finish the season one tonight. HAHA.

K. BTW, it's my second day to not eat rice. I hope my no rice policy will last at least a week or month.

Realizations while I was watching Vampire Diaries.

• You can only depend on yourself.
• Love conquers all.
• Unexpected things can happen.
• If you really want something, no matter how hard it is to achieve, you can get it.
• Twilight is really different than Vampire Diaries. VD is better. ;)
• Ooh. The Salvatore Brothers are so handsome. :">

Here's my favorite quotations.

The only one I can count on is.. me. - Damon.

Elena: If you walk away, it's for you. Because I know what I want. Stefan, I love you.

- By the way, I loved that scene. The part where Elena asked for a second chance to Stefan. After she said those three words, Stefan walked up to her and kissed her.

Damon: What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so whipped!
Caroline: You've gotta read the first book first. It won't make sense if you don't.
Damon: I miss Anne Rice. She was so on it.

Elena: I don't wanna talk about my future, Stefan. Because everything you're saying makes it perfectly clear you aren't gonna be in it.

Damon: We're a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race!

Elena: You don't have to push me away. I can do this.
Stefan: I can't.

In the end, the only person you can depend on is yourself.

I believe in that quotation.

Anyway, today is Saturday. Since we have no training, my plan was to go SM with my teammates. But that wasn't followed. I woke up late so I got lazy then decided not to go to SM anymore.

I just watched Vampire Diaries again. 4 more episodes to go and I'm done with Season 1. Tomorrow, Dad's going to Quiapo and I'll tell him to buy the Season 2. \:D/

I cooked my own dinner tonight. It's pansit canton, fried tofu and ham, and Mom's homemade kimchi. Nomnomnom. I didn't use any spoon or fork today. I only used the stainless steel chopsticks that Mom bought at a Korean store two days ago.

Later, I'll watch the remaining four episodes of the series.

Then tomorrow morning, instead of going to the Team Building (Cattleya Resort), I'll just study for my History mastery exam. Then on the afternoon, we'll go to our family friend's birthday party.

Ohwell. :)

Hello, December.

It's been weeks since my last post here.

Hey, I have a new addiction. You know what? It's vampire diaries. I just bought the season one (DVD) last Sunday and I'm planning to buy the season two next week.. or after I'm finished watching the first one. I'm already in the 8th episode of the show. I can't watch it this week because it's our mastery examinations.

Anyway, today we took Geometry and CL tests. I hope I'll pass geometry. Proving is hard. It's officially one of my most despised subjects.

Oh, btw. I arrived home early today because I'm not feeling well. I have this bad cold and I'm starting to have cough. :| I don't want to absent because.. Idk. I don't want to. It's hard to cope up.

Tomorrow's gonna be the last day of exams this week. Chemistry and Filipino.

Then we'll still have examinations next week. Oh, good luck to me.

I'm still busy this weekend. Saturday will be training day. Sunday will be the birthday celebration of our family friend.

I want a day of relaxation, so badly.

Next week, I'll get a manicure and pedicure around Dapitan. I hope. \:D/ I want to pamper myself.

Another day has passed.

Yesterday's Saturday. And it's already past 1am now. I shall go to sleep after making this blog entry.

Since there is no training yesterday, I went to USTe to play Call of Duty with Jessie, CJ, Bonn, Zebadiah, and Matthew. I'm used to being the only girl whenever I'm with somebody to bond with. We played for three hours straight, so my eyes hurt.

After playing, we went to SM North Edsa to eat Burger King. I missed eating onion rings there. Then we roamed around the mall and went to TriNoMa to run an errand. Zebadiah and I bought Mister Donut before going home.

I arrived home on time.

And here I am again, using the computer for almost 4 hours straight.

Good Mornight.

Today is friday.

My day is just an ordinary day.

I woke up late again. Good thing about it is I arrived school on time. In every subject, we suggested free time for our preparation of mural and math 3D. Some of our teachers granted our request. Some didn't, though it's okay.

After classes, I attended training. I ate crappy unhealthy foods again before the training. Foods like scramble (with 5 toppings), gummy worms, crinkles, candies, and many more. Oh great, I'll gain weight again. Hello again siopao face. You will not be siopao looking before the year ends, I hope. Anyway, I fell asleep while we're on our way to Pasig. Upon arriving, we did some stretchings and jogged outside the fencing hall for three rounds. After jogging, someone taught us core exercises. They should name it hardcore exercises because it makes you really tired. The effect of the core exercise is for you to become stronger, as our coach said to us. I hope it's effective. What I hate about it is the extreme pain that you'll experience the next day. You'll feel very heavy and you'll become lazy to move around.

After the core exercises, we did our cool down stretchings and went to Mcdo for dinner then went home.

Well, that's my day.

PS: I forgot, I didn't saw any fourth year student because it's their camping trip.

November 18 2010.

I woke up late because I arrived home late (training) and I spent the remaining hours of the night surfing the internet. Since I'm tired and lazy, I didn't hurry to go to school. It was clear to me that I'll arrive in school late. Today's my second time to be tardy this school year. I don't want to be late again, even though I have few times of being late compared to others.

During Chemistry time, we just answered our seat work for the whole hour. After that, it was TLE time. Sir Jucutan's back! I was glad to know that I don't have a line of 7 in that subject. I lacked 2 requirements. Then we had our early recess. After eating, we went to the chapel;parish;church to attend the monthly mass.

The usuals. Father Roy was there. The last batch of the elementary school was there. Every EHSian was there. The not so usual thing about today's mass was the Homily.

Him: Ano lang ang nakakahiya?

Us: Kasalanan.

So he asked questions. If the questions reminded yourself. You must stand up.

I stood up for these kind of questions:

Pinaiyak ng minamahal.

Iyakin.

Pinaiyak sa galit ang magulang.

I forgot the other one.

Yes, I know. It still hurts. My heart still hurts like hell. After I stood up, I flashed back some memories. Then focused on the mass.

After the mass, we went immediately to our classrooms. I killed time by helping other classmates to prepare our booth, played speed stacks, and changed clothes for the math race.

Then it was time to start the math race. The math race was a university wide event. My team was green team AKA berdemons. My classmate Kathlyn belonged to the blue team. Gil belonged to the yellow team. Dianne belonged to the black team. Then I saw him, turned out he also joined the math race and he belonged to the gray team.

Our first destination was Botanical Garden. You have to get this sudoku paper (rolled like a diploma) when there is flour all over the shallow pail. The twist? You must get the paper without using your hands. I was the one who got the paper. The 3rd year college students solved the problem. While solving the problem. We saw the gray team. Well, he was the one who got the paper for their team.

Then my team mate, Kuya Aldrin said: Bagay kayo!

Ma'am Janet, she agreed and teased me.

In my mind: WHEW. WHEW. :D

The second destination was near the P. Noval Gym. We performed the angle dance. The third destination was the mini garden near the Health Service building. The dare was to type AutoMATH-TECH @ 60 without looking at the keyboard. Kuya Aldrin tried it. I also tried it. Fortunately, I finished it. \:D/ I was proud of myself. K? =)) The fourth destination was Lovers' lane. You have to walk unitedly with your other team mates. But first you have to fit garters that are attached to one another. After that, we went to our second to the last destination, Grand Stand. You have to find draw a paper and find a specific part of the computer. Our last destination was Educ Building. You just have to complete the puzzle pieces and find out who is the person in the completed puzzle. We arrived fourth place. \:D/ We'll be better next time. I had fun through out the race.

After the race, I waited for the judging of booths so that I could get my things and go home.

I arrived home early.

Well, that's my day.

Good night.

My boring weekend.

Saturday:

Unfortunately, plans changed so my supposed-to-be gala in MOA was cancelled. Ugh, sayang. So I went to the convenience store to buy food. Then I watched tv and accidentally fell asleep. When I woke up, my brother told me we'll go to Circle C with mom and her friend. I bought this gray sweater. I want to buy more clothes but my mom said we'll buy next time. I didn't bring any extra money so I just bought one item. I spent my evening researching about colloids for our performance task in Chemistry.

Sunday:

I'll spend this day by finishing my requirements and by planning this week.

I finally printed out my performance task. I'll arrange and design it later.

I bought a filler for my reflection notebook.

I haven't research about poetry so I'll do it later too.

Good Afternoon btw.

TGIF two days ago.

Bullets.

• Of course, we had regular classes.
• Training after class.
• Went to USTe after training.
• Mom fetched me in USTe.
• Went to MoA to eat dinner and to roam around.

Let's reminisce part three.

July

My mom shot those. He teksted me at that time. Perfect timing? ;)

July 11 '10. I made this for him.

My monthsary present for him.

Me and a fencing jacket that I borrowed.

August

Hrr. Sorry for the big leg. =))

We got this lollipop from our english teachers.

August 9 '10. I got my haircut.

Layered + Side bangs.

August 27 '10. Reunion of Grade 6 '07 - '08.

Since my former classmate took a vacation here on the Philippines for one month. We decided to plan a Despedida party for him. His name's Paolo Lagman. I miss him already. He's a good friend.

September

I forgot what happened. Sorry. HAHAHA.

Let's reminisce part two.

April

Me and Kuya Gyve.

We spent our holy week in Pangasinan and Baguio City. I miss the atmosphere there.

April 20 '10. Denise, Aina, and I.

It was my first time to meet Denise's best friend, Aina. I spent a day with Charles, Patrick, Austin, Denise, Aina, Sir Tim, Kuya Ejay, and many more. Our meeting place was USTe, then we decided to eat our late lunch in Mcdonalds. Then went to SM San Lazaro.

May

May 11 '10. Me and my kinakapatid, Lance.

We celebrated my Ninang's birthday in Tagaytay City. We stayed there for two days and one night. It was my first time to try the Zip Line. It was fun and scary at the same time.

I forgot the date. We accidentally fought because of his former girlfriend. -_-

I talked to Erika, Sir Jeff, and Denise for comfort.

April 20 '10. Swimming.

Charles, Janine, Patrick, Dale, Me, Sir Jeff, Denise, Roscoe, Randolph, Mj, and Yves.

We swam in Phil Am. After swimming, we went to SM North Edsa.

June

Me and Sairra.

Denise, Me, and Gil.

Those two pictures were taken before and during our acquaintance party. Johnrebb prepared our AVP presentation and then our class sang With a Smile by Eraserheads.

Lift your head.

Baby don't be scared of the things that could go wrong along the way.

You'll get by with a smile.

Let's reminisce.

I'll track down the first 3 months of this year.

January:

My L necklace. It's still with me.

The eleventh day was really memorable because it was our first monthsary. He gave me this L necklace and a bouquet of roses. I brought home the roses and my mom was surprised. People at home teased me but it's okay. We're legal. It was also my classmate's birthday.

2 Patriotism!

It was also our Intramurals. I forgot the awards that we got. :/

I became a Ninang again for that month. It was for baby Lorraine. A daughter of our family friend.

February:

Yes, I was sleeping at that time. ♥s day. We also celebrated our Principal's birthday.

The tenth day was Paulo Caasi's day and Nicole Marquez's day. They're both a good friend of mine. The fourteenth day was Valentine's day and Benedict Tesoro's day. The fifteenth day was Gillan Ropero's day. The 16th was my day. I got a L doll on that day. I treated ice cream, quickly, and pizza for my classmates. The seventeenth day was Earl Elizan's birthday. The eighteenth was Leyanne Naguit's day. It's a week long celebration of birthdays every year in our class.

March:

We bought this fan. I signed his fan. He signed mine. It's still with me of course. But I don't use it anymore.

Me, Ma'am Jeselle, and my classmates.

We had this production named Nena and Neneng as our Filipino project. We had fun preparing and performing it.

Oooh our clearance days. Me, Denise, and Bella.

TGIF.

Me and Denise. That top will be mine, soon. ;)

Ffff. I gained weight. :|

• Had 4 hours of sleep last night.
• As usual, our meeting time was 9am but I arrived around 10am. HAHAHA. Filipino time.
• Ate at Jollibee for lunch.
• Swimming at Phil Am Village with Denise, Leyanne, Carla, Cyra, Andrea, Jasper, Michael, Kelvin, Earl, Aaron, Jovi, and Sammy.
• After swimming, Denise, Leyanne, Carla, and I went to SM North for dinner and to kill time.
• Ate Paotsin for dinner. nomnomnom. Scramble for dessert. :9
• Arrived home around 7:30pm.
• Had fun.

Btw, Happy birthday to Roscoe Guevara and Happy Monthsarry to Roscoe and Keeshan. ;)

Yesterday.

I attended training yesterday. I won 2 bouts (set) out of 6? I guess. Or was it 5? It was fun. We ate burger steak at Aysee's for lunch. Then we went back to the fencing hall. I fell asleep while my friends talked about any topic they could possibly think of. Then it was training time again.

After training, me and my mom went to SM North to buy me school shoes. My previous school shoes was destroyed because of the endless rain (rains?) during school days. Dad and Mom said I could buy things for myself either this week or nekst week. So I canvassed rubber shoes, bags, high heels, and doll shoes. HIHIHI.

After SM, we went to Piging at Timog to meet up with my uncle. We ate liempo, barbecue, isaw for dinner. Nomnomnom. Then for dessert, we went to Mcdo to buy coffee, twister fries, and regular fries.

Today is the last day of October.

Happy Halloween! :D

I woke up early today.

I don't know what to do today.

Movie marathon? Hmm.

I'll just clean my room today. :)

And then movie marathon? \:D/

Good Morning. :*

I spoiled myself yesterday.

Here's what happened yesterday:

• Went to (at?) SM to spend quality time with me, myself, and I.
• Bought a shirt in artwork. \:D/
• Bought a new pair of earrings. ;)
• I was supposed to buy a new pair of shoes. Unfortunately, my favorite color (blue) isn't available so I didn't buy any.
• Bought junk foods in case of movie marathon.
• Mom bought cake (it tasted like black forest) in Goldilocks. NOMNOMNOM.
• She also bought my favorite siomai in siomai house. :9
• She bought soft drinks but I didn't drank any. Yes, I resisted the temptation.
• Watched Jessica Soho for a little while. I didn't finished it because I'm so damn scared. :3
• Accidentally fell asleep in my parents room.

It's simply awful to fall out of love.

I can't help it. Yes, there are many things going on my mind right now. My mind brings back memories. Memories I can't forget. Happy memories. Funny memories. Memories that are all about YOU.

Why did it happened? Why did you gave up? Will you come back again? If you'll come back, will you be better? Will I be better? When will you come back? Can we bring back the memories we had? What will people say? Will they become happy for us? Will there ever be an "US" again? Nagpahinga ka lang ba kaya ayaw mo na? Ayaw mo na talaga? O ayaw mo MUNA? O ano na?

So many questions, but no answers.

I blame myself for thinking too much. I have faults too you know. I hold (held?) back my feelings every time someone asks my if I'm fine, or anything related about my feelings.

I guess I'll just have to accept the fact that I cannot go back in time. I can still mend this problem. But, how? why? when? where?

Concerned people said I should not eksplain or talk anything about our break up to him. Because it would look like I'm the desperate one. The one-who-cannot-live-without-him.

I just want to eksplain my opinion to him so that I could prove to him that I had some faults, and he had faults too. Cause and effect thing.

Yet again, I just let things roll. I let him talk to me again. We talked a little this vacation. This is one of the reasons why I hate myself for easily forgiving people. For people to take me for granted.

Think happy thoughts. All the pain will be worth it.

People come and go.

This is how I encourage myself to be happy. Yet again, I still weep. It's okay right? :/

Hay.

*will self destruct.

*testing, testing.

*abangan niyo pa ang posts na mga ganito sa buhay ko. =))

Goals this Semestral Break.

I have so many goals for this semestral break. But my main goals are to keep myself busy ( Sir Jucutan's cliche) and to make myself (with the help of other people) become better, not bitter.

Here's what my goals are in bullets:

• Do something productive - training.
• Organize my old things and papers.
• Organize my room.
• Manage my time well.
• Sleep every night for at least 8 - 10 hours.
• Eat less crappy junk foods, eat more fruits and vegetables.
• Control my cravings.
• Drink more water.
• Find my old self again.
• Keep in touch with my former classmates.
• Take care of myself. :)

I hope I could do all of these.

If I could dedicate a song for you, here's what it is.

Go Back to December

By Taylor Swift.

My friend told me, Taylor wrote this for Taylor Lautner. But IDK.

I'm so glad you made time to see me.

How's life, tell me how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while.

You've been gone, busier then ever.

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up and I know why.

Cause the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind.

You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,

And I go back to December all the time.

Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,

Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.

I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping

Staying up playing back myself leaving,

When your birthday passed and I didn't call.

And I think about summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughing from the passenger side

Realized that I loved you in the fall.

Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind.

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.

So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.

And I go back to December all the time.

Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,

Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.

I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.

I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,

And how you held me in your arms that September night,

The first time you ever saw me cry.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,

Probably mindless dreaming

If we loved again I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,

And I go back to December.

Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,

Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.

I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright.

I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.

I go back to December all the time.

All the time

I know, 100% sapul. Like some bullet was shot straight to my heart. Life goes on.

Yes, it's a lie that I didn't dedicate this song to anyone. Sorry for lying.

Ano na nangyayari sa pag eenglish ko?

B't parang feeling ko ampanget na kapag nag eenglish ako? Nannosebleed na 'ko. Whew. Sana mag improve grammar at vocabulary ko sa susunod.

Parang tumataba na naman ako ngayong semestral break. Pano ba naman, ang dami kong cinacrave ngayon.

Ayun, baka mamaya sasama ako sa mga elementary classmates ko. Magvvolleyball daw kami.

Bukas, magtetraining na uli ako.

Sa sabado baka training na naman yun.

Wala nga daw kasing katapusan yung training. =))

Tas team building namin sa end pa ng November.

Magandang Umaga.

Semestral Break.

Our semestral break started last October 23 '10 and will end on November 7 '10.

So far, here's what I did:

• Slept early.
• Attended training days. (Our training this sem. break is everyday. Whew).
• Surfed the internet for at least one hour. My maksimum time so far is 5 hours straight.
• Ate foods that I want to eat.
• Kept in touch with people.
• Planned goals for myself.

This will be added more nekst time.

Field Trip.

III Patriotism

Our field trip happened last October 22 '10 at Club Manila East (Taytay ,Rizal).

Carlo, Johnrebb, Roscoe, Keeshan, Carla, Gabbie, Sairra, Aaron, Ako, Shobe, Jovi sa kiddie pool. :*

Nag enjoy naman ako. :) Nung on the way kami nag ja-jamming ang boys at foodtrip magdamag. Ang daming umuulan na pagkain tulad ng oreo, cheetos, tortillos, dingdong, chips delight, atbp.

Ang daming pool. Wave pool, kiddie pool, pool na may malaking slide, lap pool, dive pool (14 feet FTW) , lazy river (sayang closed yun nung nagpunta kami) , standard pool, pool na pwede sumakay sa bangka at madami pang iba.

Si Denise, Ako, at Gil. Dalawa sa mga kaibigan ko na laging andiyan palagi sa akin. Love you guys. :*

After magswimming, kumanta kami ni denise kasama teachers. ;) Mga kanta? Pang senti magdamag. Before I let you go, Only hope, Ako'y sa'yo, So slow, I love you goodbye, Somewhere down the road, From this moment..

Aaron, Gillan, Simon, Keeshan, Sairra, Roscoe, Carla, Dianne, Denise, Earl, Je-ar, Cyra, Josue, Jeremy, Lara, atbp.

Illu, Jm, Simon, Gillan, Sairra, Aaron, Carla, Keeshan, Roscoe, Earl, Ally, Dianne, Josue, Je -ar, Denise, Nicole, Lara, Jayson, Me.

Bago umalis madami kaming class pictures. HAHA. Ayan onti pa lang yan. Wala pa sa kalahati.

Nung pauwi, mabilis yung byahe. Ang aga namin nakarating sa USTe. Nakasabay ko pauwi sila Zebadiah at Aeron. ;)

Thank you Trippy! Nag enjoy ako. Salamat sa pag comfort sa akin. :* Nung lunch kasi, nadala ako sa kanta (somewhere down the road) eh. HAHA. Memories. :|

Eto mga naalala kong sinabi sa akin ng mga tao ngayon.

"Okay lang yan."

"Madami pa naman diyang iba."

Hha. Ganyan lagi sagot niyo eh. :))

"Sige, iiyak mo lang yan. Dalawang araw ah. Pagkatapos nun, smile na."

"Huwag ka na umiyak. Di yun worth it."

"Tahan na."

"Sana maging si Austin at Lydelle po uli."

Nasama na 'ko sa group prayer namin.

"Smile na."

"B't ka na naman umiiyak?"

"Awww."

"Awwww."

"Awwwww."

"Sayang."

"Ano ba yan."

"Gago talaga yun."

"Andito lang ako. Ingat lagi. Sana magkausap kayo."

I feel so vulnerable. :|

Day 1.

Yang picture, yan yung lumabas nung pinindot ko yung bagong application sa facebook.

Ayun, day one ng kakaibang buhay ko ngayon. Hindi pa din ako maniwala sa nangyari kahapon. :/

Panaginip ko kagabi? Pareho dun sa nangyari kagabi. Yung nasa bleachers kami... sinabi niya... ayun.

Eto pala nangyari ngayon:

• Last day ng intramurals.
• Nanlibre Geom teacher namin.
• Nanalo kami ng 3 trophies! Go patriotism! \:D/
• Andami kong naalala nung championship sa basketball. 4R vs. 3R.
• Epic fail ng bracket.
• Iyak. Iyak. Iyak. Iyak dahil sa nangyari sa section namin. Iyak dahil sa nangyari kahapon. Kaya ko 'to.
• Madaming yumakap at kumausap sa akin ngayon. Thank you. :* Teacher man, kaklase, schoolmate. Kinausap pa din ako. Natouch lang.
• Bumili ng pagkain para sa field trip bukas.
• Nag iiisip na naman ako ng malalim. :(
• Positive thinking.
• Last bullet na 'to.

Night.

Everything is going to be alright. Maybe not today but eventually.

Magtatagalog ako ngayon. Hindi ko na kasi mapigilan. :(

Pangalawang araw ng intrams namin ngayon. Sinalihan kong sport ay basketball. Nakapaglaro ako ng isang beses. Masaya sa pakiramdam at enjoy. Na enjoy ako kasi mga kaibigan din kasi namin yung una naming nakalaro, yung respect. Pagkatapos maglaro, pinanuod ko laban sa basketball at volleyball. Magdamag akong nagcheer.

Eto yung mga laban namin ngayon: 3P vs. 4P (men's vball), 3P vs. 1H (men's vball),

3P vs. 4R (men's bball), 3P vs 3R (men's bball), 3P vs 4P, (women's vball), 3P vs. 4P (women's bball), at 3P vs 3R (women's bball uli). Hindi ko lang alam kung ano yung sa chess, GG, at scrabble.

Ayun, fast forward na nga. Bago yung laban ng boys sa 4R. Kinausap ako ng kaibigan ko. Grateful ako na kinausap niya ko at tinutulungan niya kami kung paano ayusin yung problema namin tungkol sa kulang sa oras at kulang sa komunikasyon. Ang pinakaproblema lang kasi (para sa akin), nag aantayan lang kami kung sino una makikipag usap. PRIDE kumbaga. Ewan kung bakit hindi ako una nakikipag usap sa kanya. Wala si Austin nun, nagliliwaliw daw. Pero babalik.

Nung umpisa na ng laro eh nagpakita na siya. Kinausap ko na. Naayos naman. Sinabi ko lahat ng gusto ko sabihin. Ang ganda ng panunuod ko kasi leading na kami ng biglang..

Siya: Lydelle, may sasabihin ako.

Ako: Ano yun? *sabay lapit kasi lumalayo siya*

Siya: AYAW KO NA.

Ako: Ayaw na yung?

Siya: Ayaw ko na. Lagi na tayong nag aaway maski sa maliliit na bagay. Blahblahblah.

Pagkatapos ng speech nya tumakbo siya. Tumakbo na din ako. Kinausap na lang ako ng kaklase ko. Umiyak. Niyakap ang kaklase. Salamat sa mga taong cinomfort ako ngayon.

Magiging okay naman ako e. Alam ko yun. Pero sa matagal na panahon na muna.

Magpprioritize na lang muna ako sa studies, at sa mga gusto kong gawin - fencing.

Nagrereplay lang lagi sa utak ko ngayon yung nangyari ngayon.

:(( :(

I'm freakin' tired.

Yesterday, I arrived home late again because it was our last day to practice for our cheer and dance competition. I slept and accidentally woke up late. I thought the classes were suspended. Good thing my father woke me up around 5:30am.

• Our performance was successful! \:D/
• FAIL. We forgot to take pictures. But our classmate taped our performance.
• As usual, I didn't talked to boyfriend the whole day. But we saw each other. :|

Why the hell would I confront him first? I'm not the boy. He's the boy. (Lydelle I hate you for having too much pride in yourself). In the end, he got angry at me because (he said) I kept on complaining on things though I didn't ekserted any effort. Me? No effort? Try waiting. Waiting for minutes. Waiting for hours. For you to come back. That's an effort.

I DESPISE YOU. :(

• Classes were suspended around 10am or 12nn. I forgot.
• We won in the first match of the men's volleyball team. We lost in the first match of women's vb team. The scores were very close. 14-15.
• Arrived home early.
• Slept for three hours.
• Is in front of the computer for almost five hours straight na.
• Wishes that classes won't be suspended from tomorrow until Friday.

Night.

I'm tired.

Here's the summary of what happened last week.

Oct 12, Tuesday: As far as I remember, it rained. I waited and teksted him. Then I knew that he didn't replied because he was busy playing DOTA while I was waiting for him. :(

Oct 13, Wednesday: First day of periodical test.

Oct 14, Thursday: Second day of periodical test.

Oct 15, Friday: Last day of periodical test. Training day.

Oct 16, Saturday: Cadet competition. My rank was number 6 out of 8. After the competition, I went to Sto. Domingo for our cheer and dance practice.

Oct 17, Sunday: I went to UST for our cheer and dance practice.

I gained weight during the periodical tests because I just slept, ate, and studied for three to four consecutive days. Me and boyfriend was busy so we didn't talked for almost one week. He didn't talked to me so I just did the same thing. I had no rest day.

Happy 10th. ;)

Today's our 10th month. Happy Happy. ;)

• He greeted me first thing in the morning. :)
• I finished all my requirements on time. \m/
• I completed my notes in English.
• I understood our lesson in Geometry and Chemistry.
• I contributed two things (essay and cartolina) for our Filipino Performance Task.
• I listened a little in History lecture.
• I slept during free time. I only had 4 hours of sleep last night.
• We ate Scramble. Nomnomnom.
• We went home fine. :) We saw a bus which has a route from Manila to Tugegarao. (I'm not sure with the spelling) Wonder why? During our Second Year HS days, I said I'll forgive him if he'll see a tugegarao bus and a jeep which has a tayuman route in España. Those things are only seen seldom in España. Lucky him. he spotted those. Then I forgave him.

My day turned out okay. Eksept one thing. I had a hard time to breathe. I think it's because I have 9 bruises all over my body. Suicide? No. Injuries because of the Novice Competition. I have one bruise on my left arm. 4 bruises on my right arm. 2 bruises on my knees. And then one major bruise near my neck. Or I think because I'm sensing that I'll have a cough or cold tomorrow? I hope I'll get well soon. I don't want to take the finals when I'm sick. I can't focus when I'm sick.

Goodnight. :)

10 months down, years and years to come, I hope. ♥

Flashback.

Here it goes:

October 4: (monday) I forgot what happened. =))

October 5: (tuesday) La Naval mass in the morning, training in the afternoon.

I went to UST before going to the Church so that me, boyfriend, and friends will go to the church together. After the mass, me, boyfriend, and friends went to my house for lunch. After eating lunch, we went to UST again and then Pasig.

October 6: (wednesday) I slept late for me to research about United Nations and the Youth. I prepared for my Ekstemporaneous Speech. Sorry, the letter eks in the keyboard is broken. :/

October 7: (thursday) My day. It was my ekstemporaneous speech. While speaking, the microphone broke. At least I tried my best to speak in English fluently.

October 8: (friday) United Nations Celebration. It was boyfriend's big day (Pageant). I made him a banner. I'm so sweet. :") He thanked me for that but I wasn't in the good mood. Major mood swing.

Our class won many contests! Congratulations 3 Patriotism. It was our first time to have many awards. Sweet.

Boyfriend won Mr. Congeniality award.

October 9: (saturday) Novice Competition. My rank was 24 out of 29 girls. My competitions came from random schools like UE, ALCHS (IDK), DLSU, and many more. I didn't won at least one game. Better luck next time.

October 10: (sunday) La Naval Procession.

I arrived at St. Domingo around 2:30. There's this lady who gave me a rosary. I declined and she said it was for donation. I said I didn't have any coins. She said she has change for my money. I gave her 20 pesos and she didn't gave me any change. WAF.

The procession started around 5pm. While killing time, I ate pastillas, ice cream, biscuits. =)) The procession ended around 6pm. Me and Jayson ate at Jollibee then went home. I finished 5 reflections before going to sleep.

Binabalewala ako ng taong binibigyan ko ng importansya.

Aww. HAHA. Naisip ko lang yan nung isang araw. Echos lang. ;)

Bukas ako magppost ng kung ano nangyari sa nakaraang linggo.

Goodnight!

10-10-10 is epic.

Goodbye September, Hello October.

Here's what happened this week.

September 27 (Monday): Presentation for our Filipino PeTa. Teachers discussed what we will do for the UN week. Btw, our country's Greece. Mythology! \:D/

September 28 (Tuesday): Training.

September 29 (Wednesday): It was his photo shoot day for UN. Yes, classmates voted for him to be on that pageant. I watched my cousin's graduation show.

September 30 (Thursday): Dry run for the rosary that will happen next week.

October 1(Friday): Training. Our coach taught us core exercises for us to be stronger.

NOW? My whole body hurts. :| I'll buy my equipments today. Then.. I don't know what will happen next. I'll complete my requirements this week. I'll finish HP book three this weekend. Then read book four next week. After 2 weeks, I hope I'll read book five.

Another busy week. Next week, I'll be busy again.

October 4: Training day.

October 5: La Naval Mass. Training day.

October 6: Practice.

October 7: MY big day. Wish me good luck? :D

October 8: UN Celebration.

October 9: Novice competition. Wish me good luck again. ;)

October 10: La Naval procession.

October 11: Our 10th. ♥

Morning. :)

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream.

For the past two weeks, my dreams were a little weird. (people leaving me, people who (or whom?) I don't remember were dead, and many more.) I don't know what it means in real life. Maybe I dreamed of it because I think too much.

Anyway, here's what happened this week.

Monday: I forgot what happened.

Tuesday: Our training day.

Wednesday: His classmate's birthday. I didn't go with him.

Thursday: His training day. It was also my friend's birthday.

Friday: My training day. Coach announced that we could play the novice competition on October 9 '10. Yey! My first ever competition in fencing. But I'll spend more or less 5K for my equipments. Expensive. :/ I'll spend 500 for my PAFA license so that I could play. Goodbye moola.

Saturday: Our training day.

I wasn't with him that much. He's busy, I'm busy.

Then I opened up my feelings to him today. Then he got mad at me. Sige na, ako naman palaging mali eh. Lagi ka pang nang aaway. No, hindi ka palagi yung mali. No, hindi ako nang aaway. I only said what I want to say.

He said SORRY and it won't happen again, then we became okay. I guess. I want to hug him so badly. :|

Plans for next week:

• Save at least P200-400.
• Attend training at least two times.
• Fix things that are needed to be fixed.
• Finish all my requirements.
• Complete my notes in all subjects.
• Buy fencing equipments.
• Pay for my PAFA license.
• Pass my requirements for the competition.
• Sleep early.
• Give hugs to people.
• Eat healthy.
• will end bullet form now. Too many.

Night.

Books.

I love reading books. People named me bookworm before. The bookworm returns. :)

Reading books was the reason why I have eyeglasses. :-j

The first series that I finished in more or less than a month was:

Yes, twilight.

I didn't ate food after classes for two weeks to buy that.
But this year, my classmate lost my new moon book. He paid for it but I didn't bought a new one because I already read it. And I think it's just a waste of money. Maybe I'll buy it next year or this year.

Reading these was worth it.

The second set of series that I'm currently reading is:

BOOO. I'm such a late reader.
At first, I hated Harry Potter whenever I watch the movie because I don't understand a thing in what they're saying. The accent. :/
Now? I finished book one and I'll read book two tomorrow. ;)

After Harry Potter, I want to read the following:

Percy Jackson and Hunger Games.

I'll read books about love too, wait for it.

Rants before going to sleep.

"maybe it's true, I can't live without you.

And maybe two is better than one.

There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life.

And you've already got me coming undone.

And I'm thinking two is better than one."

Two is better than one by Boys Like Girls.

LSS.

Last night, I slept late again because I was exchanging text messages with my best friend-turned father-turned brother. He was a Pre-Service Teacher last school year. Then we became close. We still update each other every single day. He's cool and nice at the same time because he prefers calling himself "Kuya" rather than Sir.

So, here are the things that happened today.

• I woke up late but still managed to arrive at school on time.
• My friends told me that I look sad today. Eventually, I am.
• I couldn't help it. So I cried during recess time. BOO. I'm such a lachrymose kid.
• Many people saw me crying and reacted. Including second year students who were my "siblings".
• I passed Chemistry! History! Geometry! CL! Hurrah. But I'll take my periodical exams seriously. My chemistry is a little low: 46/70, History:57/65, Geometry, 32/55 (Proving why are you so hard?), CL: I got two mistakes babe. ♥
• Finished compiling UAAP requirements in Fencing.
• Bought chocolates for my cravings. Okay, that's one of the main reasons why I am not getting thinner. HRRR.
• We're okay now. He said sorry and it made me feel happy again. I love you for making me okay. :) I shall hug you tomorrow. I hope.

"Ate, smile ka naman. Lagi ka namang malungkot eh."

There you go. Smile. :D

Goodnight.

Try this too.

http://urlai.com

I know what I did last weekend part 2.

September 13: Monday.

I woke up early to cram my AP performance task. Then I went to school after that. Our dismissal time that day was 3pm but I arrived at home around quarter to 6. Why? It rained. So we got stranded. Too bad I didn't hugged him goodbye because I was soaking wet and he has this 1 whole illustration board to take home.

September 14: Tuesday.

Giving out of cards. My grades were okay but I wasn't satisfied about it. I shall study more. Our dismissal time was 2pm but I arrived at home around 5:30pm because it rained again and we got stranded. I didn't hugged him for the second time because he left me (hrrrr) and I was soaking wet.

September 15-17: Mastery Exams.

Hell week again.

Sept 15: English (the scope is about IPA, midsummer night's dream, communication cycle, shakespeare, and rip van winkle) and Geometry Quiz (about triangles)

Sept 16: CL (about the church, I guess.)

Sept 17: Chemistry (computations), History (memorizations). My head will explode. :|

September 18: Training.

After a week of studying. My brain cells will become tired. Then my body will be the next thing to be exhausted.

September 19: Fingers crossed that this will be my rest day.

I know what I did last weekend part 1.

"And I wanna believe you,

When you tell me that it'll be okay,

Ya I try to believe you,

But I don't."

- Tomorrow by Avril Lavigne.

Good Evening. I'm trying to fix my grammar here. :-h

So yeah, I'll tell you what happened last September 11, September 12, September 13, and today.

September 11: 9th monthsarry.

As usual, we did nothing. We don't celebrate month anniversaries. Idk why.

We didn't saw each other that day. He didn't went to our training in fencing. He was just at UST busy doing performance tasks. Me? I went to our training. But I didn't went to UST because of the go see model show. The go see model was an epic fail, I didn't passed my requirements because I got lazy waiting for the cue of the guy-whose-job-is-to-collect-those. Anyway, so we just greeted each other. :3

I was not contented because we were supposed to watch a movie but we have no time. :| BOO.

September 12: Sunday.

We just texted each other. But his replies were late because as usual, he's busy. Actually, I am curious why he's really been busy. My expectation is.. he's fixing a surprise for me. Reality? There's no surprise. He's really been busy because of the performance tasks.

Moving on, My mom, little brother, and I went to Ninang's house because it was my kinakapatid's birthday. I took care of kids there. They're so adorable. Their cheeks was so cute and I love pinching them. :)

That night, Mom, Ninang, and their friend talked to each other while I was busy texting but I'm still listened to their stories. It's an ability that I want to improve - listening while doing something. Their stories were interesting. So interesting I sat with them for hours. Their stories were about their life before they were married, or anything that focuses about love. It made me ~kiligs~.

Then it got to the point where mom got a little tipsy. She said she wants to go to the beach after a long day to scream her bad vibes. She wants to do it so she won't have any worries.

Now? I cried because of what she said. She's too busy guiding us. Too busy she has little time for herself. Yes, I'm that sensitive to cry over something. :/

Hindi ko alam kung ano nararamdaman ko ngayon.

• Stress?
• Lungkot?
• Inis?

Shizz. Naguguluhan ako.

Sana lumipas din 'to.

Madami pa naman akong gagawin.

Hindi ako nakakagawa ng isang bagay kapag wala sa mood. :|

I'm not in a good mood to talk to you today.

Hello boyfriend.

Him: Astig ni Diane (his friend, I guess) kanina. Naka yellow na dress... *continues to speak*

Me: Okay. Ano gagawin ko? Hayok ka na naman?

-------------

Him: Sorry.

Me: K.

I don't want to talk to anyone today. Hrrrr. There's still a big burden in my mind even though I confessed to the priest and told stories to my friends.

Big mood swing.

Stay with me through my bad vibes. Then you'll have me at my best mood.

I'm done crying. Let's start over again. Look forward to the future. Fix this problem. Smile dear. :)

If jokes are supposed to be funny. Then why am I not laughing?

THIS.

I don't want to post this on tumblr.

It's too.. risky?

'Di din naman kasi nakakatuwa eh.

His joke = saving pictures of girls (not me) in his cellphone then setting it as a wallpaper.

Small joke? Sorry, I'm sensitive. A little immature also.

Sensitive enough to cry over silly things.

It's the crying thing that I couldn't stand. Before, nagagalit ako kaagad sa mga simpleng bagay. Ngayon, dinadaan na lang sa iyak. Actions now, words before.

I want to talk about this issue then you said BYE and went OFFLINE. Coward? Busy?

May bukas pa para pag usapan 'to.

Roller coaster of emotions.

Kailangan ko 'to ilabas para makapag aral ako ng mabuti mamayang gabi. K?

• Medyo apektado pa din ako sa headband isyu natin kahapon.
• Gusto ko na mag aral ngayon kasi gusto ko talaga pumasa at magkaroon ng matataas na grado sa periodical exams.
• Gusto ko na magsabado para makapag shopping spree na ako.
• Gusto kita yakapin ngayon. :|
• Natatakot ako sa thursday - Geometry, Chemistry, TLE.
• Gusto ko mag usap tayo nang matino. HOHOHO. Busy kasi kakaaral.
• Nauumay na ako sa choco choco. Kanina pa 'ko kumakain ng ganun.
• FILIPINO AT AP! Sana magkasundo tayo habang buhay. Alam kong ayaw ko kayong mga subject pero kailangan kita ipasa. :)
• Magising ng maaga bukas.
• Tandaan yung three tips sa pag aaral. Read with your fingers as your guide. Eat egg with yolk. Don't cross your legs while answering. :D
• GOOD VIBES. GOOD VIBES. GOOD VIBES. PLESSSS.
• Stay focused.
• Avoid stress.
• Be happy.
• Smile.
• Study.

K. I'm done. :)

My kind of fashion.

So yesterday we went to SM North to kill time. I bought a yellow shirt at Jewels which is on sale. I'll go back there this Sunday because I fell in love with the clothing line. :">

Then I fell in love with this Domo Kun bag which costs 550 Pesos at Comic Alley. It's a little expensive for me but GOOOOOOOOOSH, it's so cute.

I also want to buy sneakers so that my Chucks won't be abused.

Sana umulan na lang ng pera.

My best bet for you.

Mom said my Auntie will by me another digital camera. \:D/

So I asked people what camera should I buy.

I just need something that has at least 10 megapixels.

So I chose this:

Kodak Z915. 10 megapixels yo.

"Kodak is old school, but it's nice."

http://store.kodak.com/store/ekconsus/en_US/pd/Z915_Digital_Camera/productID.145103400

My friend suggested me this:

It's canon powershot g10. 15 megapixels yo.

"Maliit lang un kung kukumpara mo sa DSLR D-something."

http://www.dpreview.com/news/0809/08091702canon_g10.asp

Canon's better but I don't know how much is it. So I chose Kodak instead because it's affordable.

I feel great tonight and I hope this feeling will last long. Long enough to stick with me through every single thing.

Like the feeling of being in love.

Those two are essential to my life.

It keeps me alive. It's my inspiration.

Good night.

Hello optimism.

So tonight, I finished my schoolworks.

• Life’s good when you have options. My classmate taught me another route for my way home. It was a little further than my usual route, but I had more people to accompany me.
• I’ll just study tomorrow for our religion quiz. It’s all about the church.
• I’ll carefully check the attendance this week. Last week, I wasn’t in a good mood to check ‘em. So carelessness caught me then I forgot to double check it. Then I had a few typos.
• I’ll finish my Health performance task tomorrow. The deadline will be on Wednesday I think. But I want to finish it immediately.
• I’ll buy a cake or something sweet for Mom’s day on Tuesday. BTW, I love you. ♥
• I’ll study this week. Hell week will start on Tuesday. And will end on Friday. (Mastery examinations)
• Hello training on Saturday. I missed you. :D I feel less stressed whenever I jog or exercise.

It’s all worth it.

http://lydellehahaha.tumblr.com/post/769363175/hello-optimism

Goodnight. ;)

Madami akong nagawang mabuti ngayong araw na 'to. HAHA.

1. Nagpost na naman ng assignments sa peysbook.
2. Naging 3pm ang 4pm uwian namin ngayong araw dahil nireport namin yun sa opis.
3. Nakauwi ako ng maaga.
4. 'Di ako nakagastos ngayon. BIG PLUS. Nakasave na naman ako ng pera. \:D/ Kailangan eh.
5. Nakisali sa COMELEC deputy. :>

Yan siguro muna. PERO AMF. Hanggang ngayon 'di pa ako nakakapagdentista, postponed ng postponed nung monday pa. Next week talaga siguro. Magpapadentista na 'ko. Waepek na retainers ko. :/ Maluwag na.

Yun laaaang~ ♥
Ako lang ata nagtatagalog dito. Mga finofollow ko eh, puro ingles. =)) Mag iingles din ako. Abangan niyo. :D

Bawing bawi pala ang pagod ko ngayong araw na 'to.

Anim na buwan ang nakalipas. Ilang taon pa. Ilang buwan pa. Kakayanin ko. 'Di ako magsasawa sa'yo. K? :)

Ohkeso na. ♥

eto na.

Biyernes ngayon. Bukas, sabado. Samakalawa, linggo. \:D/

Ganito nangyari. Alas kwatro pa din uwian ko kasi wala pang exemption letter, ayos lang. Unang linggo pa naman ng klase eh. Nung uwian ay kumain kami magkaklase sa KFC. Tumawag SIYA. Habang iniintay niya uwian namin ay naglalaro lang siya sa pc shop ~_~ Syempre, maglalaro kasama ang kanyang barkada, pero at least iniintay ako at para hindi siya ma-bore. Siya naman mag iintay lagi! Ohaha. Nung second year kami, ako kasi lagi nag iintay.

Lakad lang ng lakad pagkatapos nun. Pumunta sa seminary gym. Lovers' lane. Naisipan na din namin umuwi. Kaya yun, nung malapit na ako sa sakayan ng dyip eh nagtext bigla kaibigan ko. Bumalik uste daw ako kasi yung guro namin dati nasa uste. Ginawa ko naman kasi ilang araw ata namin siya hindi nakikita. 'KUYA' ko pala yung guro na yun. HAHA. Pagdating ko dun eh madalian lang ako kasi umaambon at baka umulan pa. Hinatid nila ako uli sa may sakayan. :)

Paguwi ay nalaman ko na nawawala pala i.d. ko. Pero, yun pala nasa KANYA lang. Naalala ko bigla na tinago pala niya tas hindi na binalik. Epi. =))

Goodnight dear. :*